By Murray Gottheil | February 10, 2025
Back in the day, before I became as warm, compassionate, empathetic, and all-around loveable as I am today, I had a reputation as someone who did not suffer fools gladly. There were even a few people around the office who found me to be intimidating. Of course, self-awareness not being my strong suit, I did not understand how anyone could have possibly found me to be anything other than wonderful.
It is not that I was intentionally mean to people. It is just that I was working really hard and did not have much patience for those who were not that bright, or even worse, who were smart, but lazy. I simply did not respect those fools, and I did not hide my contempt well. Oops, my bad. I should have been more discreet.
I was also (more than) occasionally accused of forming a first impression about people quickly, and then being slow to allow them to change it. That was probably also true. Again, I was busy. Giving people second chances takes time. My bad, again.
Now that I am retired, relaxed, and happier, I have given much thought to how I used to be. I somewhat reluctantly find myself being driven to the conclusion that there is a slight possibility that I could have been just a tad kinder, gentler, and more flexible in my thinking.
To the young folks who may find themselves supervised by someone like I used to be, here are a few ideas to consider:
- First impressions matter. Don’t be lazy. Do the work;
- Ask questions if you do not understand what is required of you. Even I would have forgiven being interrupted with questions. Getting it wrong, not so much;
- Deliver on time. If the deadline is not achievable, say so right away and negotiate a better one. If something comes up which makes it impossible to deliver when promised, speak up as soon as you know and obtain an extension. But never, ever, deliver your work product late without having done everything possible to complete it on time and without letting your supervisor know in advance;
- If you do not write well, fix that. Take a course or get a tutor. Many supervising lawyers will think like I did (and still do), that how you write reflects how you think. If you write poorly, people like me will conclude that you don’t think well either;
- Find ways to impress your supervisor with your willingness to learn and work hard.
They do not teach lawyers how to supervise people in law school. These skills come naturally to some but not to others. I learned a few of them eventually. But here is the thing: at times people like me, who may be a bit demanding to work for, are that way because we demand a great deal from ourselves as well. And that makes us good at what we do, and the best people from whom to learn. It may be worth the effort to try hard to win our confidence.
Murray is a happily retired lawyer who lives in the country, drives a pick-up truck, writes, teaches and mentors. You can reach him at [email protected] or see what he is up to at lawanddisorderinc.com.
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