By Marcel Strigberger | January 21, 2025
Can a judge make peace between hostile lawyers by ordering them to have lunch together?
In the Alabama case of McCullers v Koch Foods of Alabama, the two lawyers involved were not getting along too well. Defense counsel moved to amend his pleading and plaintiff’s counsel opposed the request unless defendant agreed not to later bring a motion to dismiss. Chief District Court Justice David Proctor quickly got annoyed at the lawyers for not working things out, noting that there is no way an amendment would not be granted.
He told them they were acting pettily and wasting the court’s resources. He then ordered the lawyers have lunch together, during which they were to discuss how they could act professionally. The order required the plaintiff’s lawyer to pay the lunch bill and defense counsel to leave the tip; the lawyers were then to file a joint report describing the conversation that occurred and the amount of the tip. Et Voila!
Koch Foods are a food giant, processing farm and meat products, especially chicken. For a number of years they also owned Purina Mills, as in Purina Dog Chow.
I don’t know what happened thereafter with the lunch. It would not surprise me if both lawyers could not agree on implementing the order. Maybe they each filed separate reports blaming the other for breaching the order, as follows:
PLAINTIFF’S STATEMENT
- Defense counsel was egregious and uncooperative in setting up said lunch which I had to pay for;
- He was somewhat overreaching suggesting we fly to Paris and have lunch at Maxims;
- I offered a comparable alternative, namely Denny’s. The tuna fish salad is to die for;
- After lengthy discourse he agreed to lunch locally, offering to have his client cater the meal at wholesale cost in the social hall of the local St. Augustine Catholic Church. I thought we had achieved a compromise. However, when we met, I chose not to eat his client’s food as I became suspicious when I noticed the dish he gave me had “Max” written on it; and
- My “learned friend” failed to act professionally. He even failed to leave a tip of at least 15%, based on the value of the doggie bag. He was certainly not a friend of the server.
DEFENDANT’S STATEMENT
- Plaintiff’s counsel did not take Your Honor’s order seriously. He was uncompromising throughout. He insisted that the best place for lunch would be Gary’s Grits;
- We finally agreed to have the lunch catered by my client at Augustine’s Catholic Church;
- Plaintiff’s counsel acted strangely. When we shook hands, he squeezed my fingers so hard it caused the powder to spill out of my ring;
- He was very mistrustful. He asked that I take the first couple of bites. When I refused to do so, he summoned Father Arnold, who happened to be hovering in the hall, over to our table. We asked for his thoughts and he said, “I can’t say. All I know is the bishop asked me to come by as someone might need to receive last rites”; and
- I complied with the order fully and more, not only leaving a tip but even dropping a five-dollar bill onto the collection plate.
I commend the judge for his efforts to get lawyers to act more professionally and civilly. The question is: can a judge compel them to do so? Don’t know. As the expression goes, “You can bring a dog to the table, but can you make him eat?
Marcel Strigberger is a Toronto-based lawyer, humourist and author, who now devotes his time to being funny and writing after 40 years of balancing these endeavours with a civil litigation practice. First, Let’s Kill the Lawyer Jokes: An Attorney’s Irreverent Serious Look at the Legal Universe, is available in eBook and paper versions on Amazon, Indigo, Apple books, etc., and, Strigberger adds, wherever great books are sold.
RELATED ARTICLES
Groia case highlights tension between lawyers’ duties to client and court
“Unfounded attacks” on lawyer merit substantial indemnity costs against client: Div. Ct.
Bucking the trends: the gentle way to fierce advocacy
Family lawyers make these professional misconduct mistakes
LSO panel splits on whether Black Lives Matter criticism is professional misconduct