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By Murray Gottheil | November 24, 2025
One of my former partners checked out my profile on LinkedIn the other day. Since he is a litigator, my paranoid streak – honed to perfection during my 40-year career – got me thinking that perhaps he was trying to find an address for service. More likely, he was just checking to see if I am alive and still writing annoying things about my time in the legal profession.
This got me thinking about how little contact I have had with my former partners since I retired almost five years ago. I had about ten of them when I left. Since then, I have had warm exchanges with two of them after I reached out to them. I got a polite response from two others when I tried to refer clients to them.
Other than that, I have not heard from any of them, and not a single one of them has “liked” any of my hundreds of LinkedIn posts, although LinkedIn analytics tell me that about ten firm members read most of them. I do get the occasional “like” from one or two of the associates.
Being retired, I have lots of time to think about why this might be. There are many possible explanations.
The most likely is that they are busy practicing law and do not have time for old folks. If I was being cynical, I would add to the end of that sentence, “who are no longer useful to them”.
Another leading possibility is that they never really liked me all that much, and if the truth be told, back when I was practicing law, I was not nearly as loveable as I am now.
Or perhaps they do not approve of what I write about the legal profession, or my days as a law firm partner.
None of this really matters much to me now that I am happily retired, living where and how I want to live, and travelling the world. But still, it is kind of sad. So many years spending time with folks, being part of a team, and ultimately, out of sight, out of mind.
Luckily for me, I do have a few enduring friendships, from before I ever joined a law firm, which continue to this day, as well as some wonderful new ones.
The message to the rest of you still plugging away at law firms? Your work colleagues are not your friends, no matter how friendly and wonderful they may be. Maintain relationships from your pre-law life, develop other relationships outside of your firm, or prepare to be lonely when you move on.
Murray Gottheil is a retired lawyer living in the country, happy and driving a pickup truck. Reach him at murray@murraygottheil.com, and see what he is up to at www.lawanddisorderinc.com.
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