By Murray Gottheil | January 5, 2026
[Note from Murray: Many of my readers are younger professionals. They may not be crazy about the content of this article. In my defense, I can be a curmudgeon sometimes, but that does not necessarily invalidate my old-fashioned opinions!]
After much thought, I have concluded that young people should be more willing to put up with tyranny. Before the howls to cancel me for this outrageous statement start, let me clarify. I am not talking about physical, sexual, emotional, or even financial abuse; I am talking about that other stuff that we used to call ‘life’, such as uncomfortable or inconvenient situations.
There was a time when you might not have liked certain things about your parents, but they were your parents, and you owed them something, so you put up with it. Your boss might have had atrocious people skills, but they were the boss. You did what you were told. In school, your teachers were perhaps not to your liking, but they were in charge. You lived with it. In all of these situations, you might not have liked a great number of things about the older folks, but they had done things for you. You owed them. They probably knew things that you did not know. You were willing to shut up and learn.
Somewhere between the Millennials and Generation Z, parents became more enlightened and showed more respect, and even deference, to their children. Those children expected more respect from their parents, teachers, and employers. We Baby Boomers used to mock the first Millennials who joined our law firm. I remember a joke that went, “But we have been working here for a week already, how come no one is asking for our opinions about how to run this place?”
I am not sure exactly how it came to pass, but I think that a generation of Baby Boomer and Generation X parents and psychologists are to blame for our present predicament. Whatever the cause, there has developed an idea that apparently most Millennials and Generation Z have bought into, which is that nobody should have to put up with any type of oppression. According to this doctrine, if you find yourself being maltreated, you owe it to yourself to exit the situation. If your parents are the perpetrators, draw strict boundaries for what you will put up with, and if they do not comply, cut them off. If it is a teacher, write a bad review on ratemyprofessors.com, organize a protest, or go over their head. If it is your employer, just quit.
All of that is fine and good, but at the same time, the definition of unacceptable treatment seems to have expanded to the point where what used to be considered aggravations or challenges are now considered to be horrific. I have seen children who turn on their parents because their parents prove to be humans who are not perfect, and nieces and nephews who discover, after years of love and support from their aunts and uncles, that they no longer like them much and just stop talking to them. And, of course, we all know employees who jump from firm to firm looking for the perfect situation, often claiming a toxic work culture as their motive.
According to a 2024 Cornell University survey, 40% of adult children in the United States have been estranged from their parents or a significant family figure at some point. Anecdotally, it is shocking how many families I am aware of where a child is estranged from a parent whom I know and respect.
Now, I am perfectly aware that there is nothing new under the sun about parents thinking that the younger generation are disrespectful. Over 2,400 years ago, Socrates said, “Our youth now love luxury, they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders, and they love to chatter instead of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not servants, of their household. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their food, and tyrannize their teachers”.
However, what seems new to me is that it is the young people who now pronounce their dissatisfaction with their parents, educators, and bosses, and are quick to sever relationships.
Janet Jackson is credited with being the first to have asked, “What have you done for me lately?” back in 1985. That sure seems to have been taken up as a war cry by the Millennials and Generation Z.
To them, this old-fogey Baby Boomer says the following:
- Your parents sacrificed their time, money, and health to bring you up. They were not perfect. They made mistakes. You owe them a lot, whether you like them or not. Cutting them off for not being to your liking is heartless. By the time that you figure that out, they may not be around for you to apologize. You will have to live with that;
- Your employers gave you an opportunity. If you were lucky, they may have trained and mentored you. You may not like all they do or how they communicate. But not everything that perturbs you constitutes abuse;
- Have some gratitude. Show some respect. The world does not, in fact, revolve around you; and
- In the context of business, jumping from company to company looking for a work environment which is delightful might eventually get tiresome. Give some thought to opening your mind and heart to people who may have their own challenges and may be doing the best they can. Maybe, with a different attitude, you might just like it where you are.
Murray Gottheil is a retired lawyer living in the country, happy and driving a pickup truck. Reach him at murray@murraygottheil.com, and see what he is up to at www.lawanddisorderinc.com.
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